Monthly Archives: March 2010

The first sentence of Evin Anderson’s blog post, So What’s Your Goal , made my day. It got me thinking about all the goals I had accomplished and all the wonderful things that were brought into my life because of those goals. The Zig Ziglar video linked in Evan’s post lifted me up another step. So while I was hot, my mind churning with great memories and good feelings, I decided to revisit my current goals.

A little background so you’ll know where I’m coming from – I used to teach goal setting at the regional level back in my MLM days, so the concepts aren’t new. But you know how it is when you’re good at something, you start taking it for granted until someone comes along and reminds you that a tune up is always a good idea.

Here’s what is new

I applied the energy principles I teach to Zig’s list. I first learned these energy principles in the context of healing. It was a pretty quick transition to see how amazing they are when applied to anything else. I started using them with everything I read, my reaction to conversations or movies, you name it – I was checking to make sure my thoughts and attitudes weren’t blocking my energy. I’ll have to explain more about how the energy works in another post and link it in here – it would take us way off track today. So for now here are the steps Zig says you need to use.

Write the goal down
Put a date on it
List the obstacles you have to overcome
Identify the people, organizations and groups you need to work with
Spell out a plan of action
Set a time limit in there (on each step of your action plan)
Identify all the benefits to you

To my great surprise I had plenty of energy to clear related to these simple steps. Now – look back up to the top of this post. Notice how Evin inspired me to think of all my successes. What would I have accomplished if I had cleared those energy blocks earlier? What will I be able to do now that they’ve been moved out of my way? It can only get better!

I took the time to reorganize and revamp two of my major goals last night with a much clearer insight than ever before. It just flowed! And I’m left wondering how I didn’t see it before. Oh wait – it was that fuzzy energy that was blocking my view before.

And I thought I knew energy work, knew goals, and knew how to accomplish things. Just goes to show you – never stop trying to learn new things, never stop trying new ways to apply the things you know.

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A frayed shoelace, a late oil change, an overflowing inbox – all of these used to drain energy from me. And let’s face it, Energy = Success. If you don’t have enough energy to “get it all done,” you just don’t reach that same level of success you’re working toward. You don’t have the same clear vision of where you’re going or the focus to stay on task.

Ever noticed that really successful people radiate calm, confident energy. I’m pretty sure they don’t get that way by tolerating situations, small or large, that will hold them back. So follow their lead! You’ll find some things that drain energy are easier to fix than you might think.

Try this 3 step process to clear up anything and everything that’s draining energy from moving toward your goals.

Step 1 Get out some paper and ask yourself – What am I tolerating? This can be a loose doorknob, a can opener that has to go around twice, a co-worker’s interruptions, or your own disorganization.

Step 2 Write it all down. All of it. Every little, stupid thing that pops into your head.
This step is more important than you might give it credit. All those annoying habits, less than effective tools, things at work, things at home, friends, family, the dog… If this list takes a while, it’s worth it. Getting it all out on paper clears the air and makes it possible for you to create a plan to…

Step 3 Take care of it. Schedule an hour or two a week, or a few minutes each day, to deal with the things on your list. Start with the easy stuff if you need to build up your courage. Or go for the big stuff first if the relief of having it off your mind will make the rest easier. As you get things cleared off your list, you’ll begin to feel the difference. You step into the flow of a more effortless life. You find the energy that used to be drained away by irritation going toward producing results.

Just a couple of examples

There’s a shirt in the closet that you never wear because it has a loose button. Take care of it. Pull out a needle and thread, have your laundry service do the repair or get rid of the shirt! Why have it hanging there if you’re not going to wear it.

And that annoying co-worker who doesn’t seem to have enough work. Oh, yeah! They gave you half his work because the boss knew you’d get it done! Not too professional to snarl and call either one of them names. Maybe tell him you’re swamped and ask if he’d like to meet for lunch and talk then. If he doesn’t get the hint, you might have to step it up a notch, but you do have the right to take back your time. Exercise that right!

Now Celebrate! Do not – I repeat – do not wait until you’re finished with the whole list to reward yourself. Celebrate each week, each day, for every ten items checked off – however suits you best. You don’t want to wait until the list is complete if you’re at all like me. I started this practice several years ago and just keep adding things to my list. Don’t be thinking I’m just easily annoyed! I’ve finally learned that I don’t have to put up with things I used to needlessly tolerate. And I keep raising my standards! The point is to continually clear up the things that drain energy from your success and celebrate along the way! Here’s to your success!

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“What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere.”
– Ovid

Ovid was born in 43 B.C. That means people have been talking about perseverance for a very long time. Which means the challenges of reaching our goals has been a problem for humanity just as long. I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel a lot better – knowing I’m not alone in the struggle. Especially when I feel like I’m bumping up against an immovable wall.

Try a search on the web for perseverance quotes. From ancient wisdom to modern humor, there are inspiring words to help us keep at it, stick to our goals, persist, pursue and endure. Whew! I’m getting tired just thinking about it.

You can also find stories of people who overcame huge obstacles to do great things. Those are wonderful to read unless you’re like me -one of those people who then feels inadequate  – as in “Why am I not living up to my potential like that superhero person did?”

So I want to share a story about a regular person – one you may never hear about in the news – one who may never do things that are so amazing to the outside world that they end up in motivational books, posts, and speeches.

The story takes place at the local college my son attends here in Vegas. He’s in the animation program, and most of the students want to work in the video game industry when they graduate. But the story is not about my son. It’s about one of the other students, and the things my son has told me about him – let’s call him Gary (protecting his privacy and all).

Gary was told by a professor early on that he didn’t have what it takes and that he should just drop out of the program. In front of the whole class. BAM! OUCH! What would be your reaction to that at age 19 or 20? You don’t have what it takes to make your most passionate dreams come true!

I would have been destroyed when I was that age –I would have barely made it through the semester, confidence destroyed, and then slunk off to waste my life looking for something I cared enough about to make it worth doing.

Gary finished all the assignments, passed that semester and then signed up for the next class. I asked my son about his attitude toward the professor – “He obviously doesn’t like him, but he’s always respectful and always does the work. He just really wants to do this.” (meaning work in video games).

This semester, the professor apologized and said, “I was wrong about you.” In front of the whole class. Whoa! The sun breaks through the clouds!

How does that very short story make you feel? Gary is the water Ovid was talking about. He hasn’t made millions of dollars, he hasn’t made the news with his accomplishments – and he might not ever. But he has done what we all want to do – he hasn’t let anyone or anything stop him from working toward his dreams. He has persevered.

I don’t feel inadequate when I think about Gary. He’s a normal person, doing normal things – not a superhero making millions. I can be more like Gary. I can persevere – respectfully – through the misjudgment and criticism of others. I can continue working towards my dreams – and trust me – I won’t forget, thanks to Gary, that the world doesn’t have to know or approve for that to be great.

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The buzz I’ve been hearing lately is all about being a go-giver. My thoughts naturally turn to my go-giver dad who taught me invaluable lessons about giving by the way he lived.

The neighborhood we moved into when I was about 10 was brand new. Many of the neighbors were buying for the same reason my parents did – the price was right, and the houses had a full, above-ground basement which could be finished off in the future, doubling the square footage and making room for growing families.

Over the years, neighbor helped neighbor with the framing, drywall, flooring, plumbing – and as I was in and out playing with the other kids, I heard snippets of conversation from the adults. I came to realize that many of the neighbors were relying on my dad’s knowledge to get the work done. Always asking his advice and always receiving his expert help. Especially when it came to the wiring. Local code required that only a licensed electrician could wire a house. Smart code considering how dangerous – shock, fire hazard, etc. – faulty wiring can be. My dad was an electrician by trade, so all the neighbors saved a ton of money they would have had to spend hiring someone to do the electrical work.

Now I have to admit that I noticed that my dad gave more than he received. I remember one neighbor helping my dad with those huge sheets of drywall – someone had to hold it in place to keep it aligned while the nails were driven in – but for the most part, Dad did our house alone. He worked on the house a little bit in the evenings and on the weekends when he wasn’t working overtime or working on someone else’s house. Gradually it all came together – my brother had a bedroom downstairs, a nice den held the pool table and the piano I practiced on for so many years. Dad put in an extra bathroom, built shelves and cabinets for mom’s laundry room, and, of course, he had a wonderful workshop.

Dad’s life lessons were given by example more than by what he said, but he did tell me that one of the neighbors tried to pay him for the new kitchen cabinets he built and installed for her. He refused and told her that she might not be able to repay him, but that she could go and do something for someone else. He had a way of looking at me when he wanted me to learn a lesson – I nodded my head and he nodded in return, satisfied I understood the significance of what he was saying. Help people just because you can. Give without expecting a reward.

But I saw the reward my dad received. A few years into all the home improvement, Dad decided to build a screened, back porch running the full length of the house. The day the concrete truck pulled up to pour the foundation, people came streaming from all over the neighborhood to help – three times as many as could possibly get in there to smooth concrete. I saw how much they wanted to return all the favors my dad had always done for them, and this was one time he had asked for help with something he couldn’t do alone. I also saw my dad’s reaction – he knew. He knew what they were giving – more than just smoothing concrete – and, as he graciously thanked them for coming, I saw them leave with a lighter, happier heart.

I was trying not to let anyone see my tears as I learned this even greater lesson from my dad that touched my heart. How did he do that? How did he make everyone feel so wonderful about themselves when most of them couldn’t even get at the concrete to help because of the crowd? My teenage mind knew that the half-hour of help they gave that day did not “pay back” my dad. But my dad never wanted to be paid back, did he? He wanted good neighbors raising good children to hang out with his own children. He wanted friends who would be there when he needed them. He got what he wanted.

Read The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Man. While you’re reading, taking in its lessons and working on your plans to improve your success, think about my dad. Think about building a good business ‘neighborhood’ and creating relationships that build good business neighbors. Put your energy into giving, don’t worry about getting paid back – it will come back to you in all the ways that really count.

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Last Thursday I was getting things together to fly to Portland when my intuition nudged me to take the over-sized purse I use for my laptop. No reason as to why came with that nudge. I wasn’t taking a computer, but I dutifully put the bag with everything else. The next morning, I felt just a bit of irritation at having an empty bag to take with me, so I shoved my regular purse inside and headed to the airport.

I spent the weekend helping my daughter pack for her move to Maui. Friends helped move all the furniture and replaceable things she was giving away. Saturday evening just before closing time, we rushed to FedEx and shipped four boxes of personal things that weren’t going to fit in her suitcases. That left Sunday for cleaning and taking a few boxes to a friend’s house for storage. Late that afternoon, my daughter sat on the hardwood floor of her empty apartment organizing her bags for the flight when she realized the purse she’d chosen wasn’t big enough for her laptop – and the only one that was big enough was already on its way to Hawaii via FedEx.

Tears of frustration after a long, exhausting weekend were welling up in her eyes. My intuition had been right again. And the solution had been provided before we even knew what the problem was going to be. She took my bag – and it made me feel like I did when a kiss and a Band-Aid solved all her problems.

The really cool thing is now I feel open to buy a new bag for my computer – something I’ve been wanting to do but kept putting off as non-essential. And my intuition is telling me that’s a very good idea. Although once again, I don’t know why.

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