Monthly Archives: April 2010

Last week in a workshop on intuition someone asked, “How can you speak with such confidence on these things?” His voice carried just a touch of frustration, and it was clear from his many questions that using intuition the way I teach it was a newer concept for him.

My first response was to thank him for the compliment. After all, it is a HUGE compliment to be recognized as having great confidence in yourself and what you’re talking about. But understanding that he had little prior experience with the concept as well as no knowledge of my life or business, I told the class about my first memory of using intuition.

Here’s my story

When I was in elementary school, I said something to my dad. I don’t even remember what it was, but he looked at me with unusual focus and asked, “How did you know that?” All I could do was shrug my shoulders. He pointed his finger at me and said, “That’s your women’s intuition.” I nodded my head – my usual response meaning lesson learned – and my dad turned to other things.

That simple and brief interchange was one of the most significant things of my life. As a child I remember logging intuition away as 1) a fact and 2) something I was capable of. From that day forward, I never doubted that my intuition was real or that I was competent with it – hey, Daddy said so! That makes it real to any kid. But then over time, experience proved my dad right.

The other important part of that moment with my dad was that he caught me in “act” of intuition. How I felt – what intuition feels like – was brought to my attention with such force that I never again had to wonder whether a feeling was my intuition or not. I knew. I recognized it instantly and flawlessly whenever it showed up after that.

Over the years – okay I’ll admit it – over the decades, I’ve come to wonder just how different my life would have been without that precious gift of recognition from my dad.

(I can’t go on without mentioning that men have just as much intuition as women. We just call it by more manly terms – a gut feeling, good instincts…)

Building confidence has followed pretty much the same pattern for everything in my life. Recognition of something I can do (by someone else or my through own insight) followed by practice and experience.

How does confidence look from your perspective? How do you gain confidence in general – especially with a new skill? Please share your thoughts.

1 person likes this post.

Unlike

Last week Beth Hewitt shared some tips on setting up your gravatar in her post Gravatars and Signatures – ABC of Building Your Brand and used my site in her training video. My first thought was – “Oh no! I’m going to be so embarrassed. Everyone will see my site where I don’t even have my own gravatar!” Of course, Beth is not like that. Go watch how graciously she avoided it and focused simply on the how tos. (And thanks, Beth, for using my site as your example!)

So I guess I have to embarrass myself

Beth’s post got me thinking about why I didn’t have a gravatar. I looked back and thought – “Oh my word! It’s been so long since I even responded to comments!” Why? (I know you’re wondering) Because someone told me that the gravatar doesn’t show up unless it’s in place when you post the comment or respond. So I decided to wait a couple of days to respond and get my gravatar set up.

Watch how the procrastination bug slipped in

So one week went by. I’ll get it next week. Then another week slipped by…and another…until the gravatar and the responses were a thought pushed to the back of my mind. Alright Teresa – time to apply what you teach to your own life.

Self evaluation at work

I took a look inside to figure things out. The response delay was easy. It was relatively new and fresh in my mind why I had procrastinated. But the gravatar – what was up with that…

First – the technology. It seemed so hard  – thinking about going to a new site, figuring out the steps. Aaugh! Horror! Trauma! Seems I was being pretty silly with that, doesn’t it? But sometimes the unknown looks bigger than it really is. (Big hint here for you when you’re looking at anything holding you back.) Beth’s video solved that problem, and I felt like a complete idiot because she makes it all look so simple in her video.

Second – the photo. Why had I never gotten around to making a new one that I liked? (Really big hint here. Check out that last part ‘that I liked’ which I already knew about myself.) Here’s where I had to search a little deeper for the answer. Why didn’t I like most of the photos of myself? I pulled out a few that I do like trying to understand this. Take a look.

This one was taken last weekend when I went to visit my husband in Philly. He was transferred there a couple of months ago, and it was the first time we’d gotten together. Key things to note: I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours – too excited to sleep the night before. My eyes are red from happy tears – I cried when he hugged me at the airport. My hair – what? Did I leave my comb in Vegas or was I just too tired to remember my hair before Ed snapped the shot? (The hint is in the last sentence there.)

Aaah – a vacation shot in Victoria, BC. We stopped there for the weekend after a long week of little sleep and busy preparation for an absolutely beautiful wedding for one of the girls. See how relaxed I look. Trust me – it was closer to a coma of exhaustion.

This last one was over 20 years ago (in case the pouffy, 80s hairstyle didn’t give it away). This photo shoot had gone on for over two hours including three changes of clothes and three hairstyles changes. This is about shot number 74. I was getting bored and getting tired of trying to smile and look nice. How do professional models do that all day long?

So did you pick up on all the clues?

Here’s your last hint – when I was a kid my mom talked a lot about how she wasn’t very photogenic – “I never take good pictures!” Can’t tell you how many times she said that every time a camera showed up on the scene. I guess I picked it up. I realized through this little evaluation I am overly self-conscious about how I will look in any picture.

My answer for my gravatar!!

In all of the pictures I’ve shared I was too tired or bored to care what I looked like. So – I’m going to work really hard for a week on a big project, stay up for at least 24 hours and then take 75 pictures. One of them will have to be okay! Don’t ya think?!

No seriously – just realizing that I need to relax and let go of the result is a huge step. I’ve got it on my schedule this week to set up the tripod and snap a few self portraits. You’ll be seeing one of them soon as my new gravatar.

My goal with this post was to give you three insights:

1. If you’re procrastinating or generally not moving forward in something you want to do – there’s a reason. And it’s not lack of self-discipline!

2. A little self-evaluation can go a long way. Look back at where you were successful (in my case, photos I liked) for clues.

3. Take a look at old beliefs and feelings you have about yourself. They’re not always serving you well. This one can be a little harder. Ask someone to help – a friend or a professional.

Hope this helps! Let me know what you think in a comment.

Update 04/23/10: Found my gravatar! One of my daughters called while I was taking pictures, and I just kept shooting.  She was distracting me from too much focus on  myself and making me laugh. Besides I was getting tired of taking pictures and wanted to focus on talking to her. This was the last one I took and the one my son liked best. Maybe there really is something to that being tired and bored.

Like

Unlike

Today’s post was inspired by Lori Roberston’s How To Find Happiness Within Yourself. Lori points out that happiness starts with recognizing the things you can “appreciate and be grateful for” that are already inside of you. At the end of the post, she asks for comments on what her readers do to “keep yourself in a state of happiness and close to the true YOU!” I knew my answer without having to think.

It’s my Gratitude Journal

A few years back, I decided I spent too much time asking and not enough time expressing gratitude. So what did I do? I asked again – but this time for help thinking of a way to be more consciously grateful.

The first thing that came to me was to say thank you when I ask. This sets in motion the assumption that you’ll receive what you’ve asked for. Whether you operate off of the Law of Attraction or the Principles of Faith, it works the same way. And it’s just plain old polite to say thank you.

The second idea was to record the things I asked for, so I started a Gratitude Journal. I log the things I ask for along with the date and regularly go back over them and check off the requests that have been fulfilled.

Not too long after starting the Gratitude Journal, I realized what a priceless treasure it is. The happiness that Lori talks about in her post simply became a part of my everyday thinking. How could it not – now that I had a written record of all the wonderful things that were happening to me just for the asking. Personal goals, things I wanted to improve about myself, good things for my children…

The Journal also helped me to see just how often I asked for something and then forgot about it. Here’s an example.

When my youngest was about 7 or 8, we had some troublemaker kids in the neighborhood. Three brothers. They threw rocks and sticks, constantly tried to pick fights and generally made it hard for the other kids to have any fun or even go outside without expecting an injury. Talking to the boys about playing nicely didn’t work. Talking to their parents didn’t help either. One day after months of everyone’s suffering, my son ran in the house. “Hey, Mom,” he shouted, “You know those kids who throw rocks. They moved!”

“That’s nice,” I said, trying not to sound too ecstatic that the rotten, little cretins were gone. But after my son ran back out to play, that little intuitive nudge hit me. Hadn’t I asked for that? I checked my Gratitude Journal and sure enough there it was in black and white – Please let the mean kids move away.

I can tell you I spent days expressing my gratitude for that one!

Try a Gratitude Journal of your own. And please – leave your thoughts in a comment below. I’d love to keep the inspiration that Lori started going round and round. That way we never run out and can help each other remember where our true happiness lies.

1 person likes this post.

Unlike

In a recent class on self healing, I told my students that I was offering private lessons for $10 during the month of April. My intuition had been prompting me to give a huge discount for a week or so prior to the class. And I always follow my intuition…even if it seems crazy.

Maybe you’re thinking – “$10!!!! That’s barely above minimum wage!!” After all – why would I accept only $10 when I usually earn either $80 or $90 for the same amount of time. The answer – intuition.

Naturally the response was very positive which made me very happy. Then my mind wandered off arm in arm with my intuition, and they got to talking. By the time they came back, they had agreed to offer this reduced price for a longer time than I originally planned with a number of time slots set aside for a range of prices $90, $50, $30 and $10 with a waiting list as each one fills up.

Here are some responses I got from friends and family on this.

Why would you do that!?!
What if people can afford more but only pay you the $10.
I recently raised my rates!

But when something feels right to me, I ignore everyone and do it anyway.

So why would my intuition lead me in this ‘crazy’ direction?

hmmm…I find myself thinking about someone that I’ll be able to help in a few months…that wouldn’t be able to get this kind of help otherwise…or maybe they’d never hear about it if one of their friends didn’t grab the $10 rate and then tell them about it…

Who knows. But when I feel these kinds of thoughts about something or someone headed by way, it’s always happens. And has brought me to some wonderful surprises and a great deal of contentment in my heart.

Besides – it won’t be forever – just until I find that person.

Like

Unlike