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Confidence: Another Gift from My Dad

Last week in a workshop on intuition someone asked, “How can you speak with such confidence on these things?” His voice carried just a touch of frustration, and it was clear from his many questions that using intuition the way I teach it was a newer concept for him.

My first response was to thank him for the compliment. After all, it is a HUGE compliment to be recognized as having great confidence in yourself and what you’re talking about. But understanding that he had little prior experience with the concept as well as no knowledge of my life or business, I told the class about my first memory of using intuition.

Here’s my story

When I was in elementary school, I said something to my dad. I don’t even remember what it was, but he looked at me with unusual focus and asked, “How did you know that?” All I could do was shrug my shoulders. He pointed his finger at me and said, “That’s your women’s intuition.” I nodded my head – my usual response meaning lesson learned – and my dad turned to other things.

That simple and brief interchange was one of the most significant things of my life. As a child I remember logging intuition away as 1) a fact and 2) something I was capable of. From that day forward, I never doubted that my intuition was real or that I was competent with it – hey, Daddy said so! That makes it real to any kid. But then over time, experience proved my dad right.

The other important part of that moment with my dad was that he caught me in “act” of intuition. How I felt – what intuition feels like – was brought to my attention with such force that I never again had to wonder whether a feeling was my intuition or not. I knew. I recognized it instantly and flawlessly whenever it showed up after that.

Over the years – okay I’ll admit it – over the decades, I’ve come to wonder just how different my life would have been without that precious gift of recognition from my dad.

(I can’t go on without mentioning that men have just as much intuition as women. We just call it by more manly terms – a gut feeling, good instincts…)

Building confidence has followed pretty much the same pattern for everything in my life. Recognition of something I can do (by someone else or my through own insight) followed by practice and experience.

How does confidence look from your perspective? How do you gain confidence in general – especially with a new skill? Please share your thoughts.

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38 Responses to Confidence: Another Gift from My Dad

  1. Oh boy…can I relate to this story. I feel that confidence is built within. Quiet the exterior noises from the past and present. When you have a passion about something keep doing it over and over again. The little responses you get will help build confidence. As a psychic for many decades ( I’m not ashamed to say) I was shoved in my broom closet from non accepting parents, fam and friends. But when I came out, I was conditioned to be a freak. I re-conditioned myself by reading the science of why I had this intuition, I studied parapsychology and they studied me. One thing lead into another until I shyly came out and took action on my “gift?” – then somewhere in my being I had a good feeling. When I looked up at a client they were amazed. That reinforced that good feeling and I kept at it. Now it is just second nature.

    You see, confidence is built from within and open your eyes to the “applause” you get from others. Keep on going girl. You are a powerful being.
    Donna Merrill
    Donna Merrill´s last blog ..What to write about in your blog? Your Passion!

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, Donna! Very powerful!

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  2. Hi Teresa,

    This is such an fantastic topic as I truly believe that every single one of us is born with incredible intuition. Unfortunately as we travel along our life journeys, many people are repeatedly told that their ‘gut instinct’ is wrong and so it becomes ‘safer’ to conform to the thoughts that the majority have, rather than being confident in your own instincts.
    As we get older, I believe it’s a skill that we fine tune in order to constantly have the ability to take a breath and ask, “What is my intuition telling me?”.

    What a Dad hey :)
    Michaelé Harrington´s last blog ..Are MLM Replicated Websites Effective At Growing Your Business?

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    Teresa Reply:

    I agree, Michaele! We all have it. We just have to overcome the naysayers and trust!

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  3. Teresa,
    You were blessed to have this experience early in life and be able to call on it without constraints. Many years of trying to conform my feelings and thoughts to “what was expected” are done for me! I’ve stepped into the person I feel I am meant to be. It’s an empowering and enlightening time to be alive!

    Thank you for sharing from the heart,
    Val
    Val Wilcox´s last blog ..Which Bridge in Life to Use…

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    Teresa Reply:

    That’s such good news, Val! Life’s experiences are meant to lead us on that exact path. That means you’ve experienced the Energy of Success! Congrats!

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  4. Great post Teresa!

    Its amazing how such little things so early in life, can have such a profound impact in our lives…

    Thanks for sharing!

    Justin
    Justin Glover´s last blog ..What Is The Best Internet Business Model To Have?

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    Teresa Reply:

    Hi Justin! Those early, impressionable years…so important for us all. But nothing is stopping us now, is it? We just have to keep on encouraging those around us and accept their encouragement in return!

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  5. Whew!… at least I have SOMETHING going for me.. lol I’m just kidding, Teresa!

    I’m so glad we’ve met – and I’m really excited about partnering together…

    And may you be richly blessed for pursuing all your dreams with the confidence your father instilled in you!

    Paul
    Paul Klaszus´s last blog ..The Sum of All Successes!

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks, Paul! Right back at ya!

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  6. As a parent, it can be very intimidating to realize that any little thing you say can have a Huge effect on your child, but then it’s also utterly and wonderfully uplifting to think that if you get it right – even occasionally – your child will remember, and thank you.
    Jacqueline Gates´s last blog ..The Goddess Guide to Finding your Purpose

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    Teresa Reply:

    Hi Jacqueline! We all get some things wrong and some right with our children. Ask my kids! I’m sure they can give you a really long list of both! Seriously, it does make you realize how important you are to your child – and how much good you can do in their lives with kind and encouraging words.

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  7. Teresa,

    You hit a real issue in a lot of people. I noticed in my line of work as a software engineer that there are many adults that lack self confidence. I was one that lacked it as well, but I gained self confidence during my middle school years when I started playing sports. I believe team sports, or any competitive activity allows one to cultivate there self confidence.

    Thanks alot
    Corey Ellis´s last blog ..Developing A Solid Search Engine Marketing Strategy

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    Teresa Reply:

    Good point, Corey! There are tons of ways people develop self-confidence. I’ve found that although I have great confidence in some areas, there’s plenty of room for improvement in others. A continuing process as I learn new things!

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  8. Teresa, great post on confidence, when you know that you know something without reservation is an awesome feeling. I live my by intuition on a daily basis and I am so glad that I do. Thanks for sharing this.

    Lori
    Lori Robertson´s last blog ..Overcoming Adversity And Defeat

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    Teresa Reply:

    Great way of putting it, Lori! It is an awesome feeling!

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  9. Hi Lori, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. Your lesson as a child was certainly a valuable one. One sweet dad :)
    Cheers Toni
    Toni King´s last blog ..EFT on Animals cont…

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks, Toni! That one experience set the stage for a great many things!

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  10. Teresa, please excuse my mistake, I apologize for getting your name wrong. Wow, must be too early for me to be thinking :)
    Cheers Toni
    Toni King´s last blog ..EFT on Animals cont…

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    Teresa Reply:

    LOL!!!!! I’m right there with you! (There’s a reason I don’t talk to clients before 11:00 a.m.)

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  11. Hey Teresa – what a great subject! I have always followed my “gut instinct” and for the most part it doesn’t let me down. I have had times though when I felt like I followed my intuition and turns out it was all wrong – so not sure why that happens but it seems like it does occasionally.
    I love that your dad gave you that gift of confidence. Funny thing, my dad did the same thing for me, he always encouraged me to go after things that were bigger than me, things that maybe I didn’t know, jobs where I didn’t have the experience – he always said “Fake it until you make it”! Have the confidence in yourself to know that you can do anything. Thanks for sharing.
    Jan Hill´s last blog ..Do You Think Social Media Marketing is a Fad?

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    Teresa Reply:

    Hi, Jan! So glad to hear you have a great dad, too! He gave you fantastic advice!

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  12. Confidence is something I still work on at times. My dad did give me confidence. I used to sing in church and he was the one I would look at to see his nodding and smiling.When he passed I spoke at his funeral.I was so needing his nods and smiles but knew he was listening in heaven and smiling at his little girl making him proud.
    Parents can make a difference in their children’s confidence.
    Great post.
    Beverly Monical´s last blog ..Interview With Perry Lawrence aka Ask Mr Video

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thank you so much, Beverly, for sharing such special memories about your dad. He must have been absolutely wonderful!

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  13. Hi Teresa,

    I truly enjoyed your post. Thank you for wisely attracting the attention to the most essential part – your dad actually showed you the moments you used your intuition by highlighting them. This is the most important part of realizing what intuition is, its innate power and how to use it. We all are equipped with intuition – it is a very important faculty of the conscious mind that connects it with the subconscious mind to create powerful manifestations. Most were discouraged from believing in their intuition and got the erroneous programming to correct later in life in order to truly live full as their true selves. You are blessed to have been empowered to recognize this important faculty and use it.

    Thank you for sharing and awakening all of us.
    Infinite love and gratitude to you,
    Venus :)
    Venus :) ´s last blog ..The Law Of Laws (part 5)

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thank you, Venus! I really wish I could give the same gift to everyone in my classes! But we each start from where we are when we’re developing any of our gifts.

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  14. Hi Teresa,

    Wonderful story and recognition of the impact your Dad had on your early life and subsequent years. Everyone else had interesting and valuable tidbits to add also, many that indirectly touched on a MOST important topic. . .creating unstoppable confidence in our children.

    If I may, I’d like to share a very important insight I learned at a seminar/workshop conducted by Jay Abraham and Chet Holmes. It has to do with the MOST successful people in the world today — all walks of life — from physicians, researchers, geeks, presidents, business people, sports stars, musicians; you name it and the industry was represented by someone.

    About 400 people were studied. Researchers asked each participant for their responses to over 175 questions covering all aspects of their lives. There was only ONE characteristic that ALL shared in common — only one!

    Each of these SUPER STAR OVER ACHIEVERS had a parent of the OPPOSITE sex who was unconditionally 100% behind their child in any endeavor they wanted to pursue.

    The rock star, who wanted to be a musician didn’t hear, “You know Eric, that’s a very tough business to make a living at, let alone experience real success in. You better make sure you get a degree in college so you have something to fall back on later on in life.”

    The young boy heard a mother who said, “I’m sure that if that is what you want to do, you’ll do great. I know that whatever you put your mind to you’ll be a success at.”

    As parents, remember the impact a positive mental attitude can have on our children, especially those of the opposite sex, whom you have an opportunity to nurture. The impact can be life changing. After all, where would we be today if Jonas Salk’s mom had said, “No Jonas, you don’t want to go into medical research. . .there’s no money or future in that!”

    Thanks for stimulating our minds,

    Joe

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks so much for sharing this, Joe! It’s so important for those of us still bringing up our children. I also believe it’s important to support each others’ dreams as adults. Supportive friends can make the journey to success so much better!

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  15. Hi Teresa,

    Great post on confidence and intuition. You were lucky to have a father who instilled that in you. Thanks for sharing your insights with us. Talk to you soon.
    Debbie Stevens´s last blog ..Why I Love What I Do

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks, Debbie! I was very lucky! Looking forward to talking to you, too!

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  16. It’s funny because I had a similar experience with my parents. Every since I was little I’ve been really good at reading people and their intentions. My mom and dad noticed from early on that I had a knack for it, and they often would ask me my opinion on someone they weren’t sure about.

    I don’t really know what to call it other than maybe intuition but I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I simply get vibes from people and I’ve rarely been wrong. At least I know I’m not all alone :)

    Thanks for sharing!
    ~Angel
    Angel Taylor´s last blog ..Cool Twitter Tip – How To Send Voicemail Using Twitter

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    Teresa Reply:

    That’s awesome, Angel! You’re definitely describing intuition. You, too, were very lucky to have supportive parents who helped you value your intuitive side.

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  17. Teresa,

    Great experienced you shared with us there! For me, I gain confidence in a similar way. Something positive results from me taking a certain action, I remember what I did and how I felt by accomplishing that result, and I’m able to learn from the experience and duplicate it in the future.

    My intuition has been very good to me over the years too and I’ve learned to listen to it, especially when making very important decisions!

    Eddie
    Eddie Espiritu´s last blog ..Ready, Fire, Aim!

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks for the comment, Eddie. You made some important points! It great how you remember and duplicate the good experiences in a very conscious way. More people should try it for themselves!

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  18. Thanks Teresa,

    Intuition, Confidence, high self esteem are all great qualities to have. Some times it’s hard for people to find them and I’m glad you did!
    Bill Cowan´s last blog ..Climbing Michi’s Ladder

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    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks, Bill! There are so many great ideas from everyone in the comments here that I’m sure anyone can move in the right direction if they apply some of them!

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  19. That’s awesome, Angel! You’re definitely describing intuition. You, too, were very lucky to have supportive parents who helped you value your intuitive side.

    [Reply]

    Teresa Reply:

    Thanks, Bruce! I was very lucky.

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